I’m sure you, like me, are confronted by a devastatingly real problem every December: As the holidays approach, all of your loving friends and relatives become eager to give you presents. Beautiful handcrafted goods. Expensive electronics. Clothes that are both functional and stylish. But what they don’t realize is that you don’t want any of that crap. The only thing you want for christmas is wine. But how do you let people know about this desire without coming right out and saying it? Let us help you. Here are a few ways to let people know that the only thing you want is wine for Christmas.
Hint at it in conversation!
When you’re next talking to your parents, significant other, friends, or other relations, drop hints about your Christmas desire. If you’re drinking something that isn’t wine, say something like ‘I wish this was wine!’ If you’re drinking something that isn’t wine, say ‘This is disgusting. I wish it was wine.’ Start drilling into their heads that wine = good, and not wine = bad.
Speak disparagingly about others behind their backs.
If your best friend got you a book last Christmas, go to another friend and say something along the lines of “I hated that book they got me. I wish it was a bottle of wine or something instead!” If you do this to enough people, many of them will get the hint and realize what it is you really want for Christmas this year.
Stage a burglary
Make it look like someone broke into your house and stole all your wine. Smash some windows, mess up a room or two, and make sure your stash of wine is hidden where no one can find it. Once the police have been fooled, you can reach out to all your friends and family and beg them to help you replace your beautiful wine collection. Next, just wait till Christmas and see the bottles roll in!
If these ideas help you get more wine in your stocking this Christmas, tag us in your holiday posts! Or in your police report. And if you’re looking for a wine to give to your other wine enthusiast friends, look no further than our online shop!
